If you’re like most brides-to-be the wedding you’re planning right now is more-than-likely your first one! This also probably means that your closest friends may not have had the chance to ever give a wedding toast before they find themselves at yours. So, today we’re going to dive into some etiquette toasting tips that may help this really special moment of your wedding run smoothly and not turn into a microphone free-for-all.
Who Should be Giving the Toasts?
The Best Man
According to etiquette the Best Man is up first. His toast is usually sentimental with a few jokes sprinkled in with stories of his childhood spent with his best friend causing mischief. Proper wedding etiquette calls the Best Man the “Groom’s Honor Attendant” and it’s basically expected for him to toast the newly weds. But he doesn’t have to be the only one to raise a glass and wish them well.
The Maid of Honor
Just like the Best Man, the Maid of Honor is coined the “Bride’s Honor Attendant” and she’s more than welcome to take the floor with her own humorous and touching story of their college days. During the time I researched proper wedding etiquette for toasts I also discovered that having the Maid of Honor do a toast is not considered traditional. This came as a bit strange to me since almost every wedding I’ve ever attended or photographed had a Maid of Honor give a toast. Either way, she’s not required to do a toast and it wouldn’t be considered a faux pas if she did.
The Parents of the Bride and Groom
If the parents give a toast, most likely you’ll see the bride’s parents speaking up. If the bride’s parents helped to pay for the wedding then the bride’s father would usually be the one to stand and welcome the guests. If both sets of parents helped to cover the cost of the wedding it isn’t unusual to see all of them stand together to welcome the guests and wish the couple well.
The Bride and Groom
This isn’t required to do, so please don’t completely freak out if you’re terrified of public speaking! But this is a wonderful chance for the two of you to thank your parents, the members of your bridal party, and welcome your guests. You are definitely able to write your thank-you’s down well in advance of the wedding. And before your wedding day arrives consider the possibility of choosing who of the two of you will do the addressing. It is completely acceptable for the groom to speak alone. And it’s also acceptable for the both of you to have your turn at the mic.
Tips When Considering Toasts
When it comes time for you to think of who will be toasting and how much time they’ll be allowed at the mic please start off by considering your wedding day timeline. Your reception timeline is an important piece of your wedding that will ensure the reception events flow smoothly and you’ll have plenty of time to mingle and hit the dance floor. If your DJ opens the microphone for toasts just before dinner, chances are you’ll be sitting through numerous and lengthy speeches that will ultimately end up eating away at your reception timeline.
The best wedding toasts are the ones that are prepared ahead of time! A little bit of preparation can go a long way, and can almost always rid someone of the jitters. And feel free to let them know that it’s totally okay for them to use their notes for reference! It’s not necessary to attempt to memorize it. I know if I tried to do that, there’s no way I would be able to make it through the toast without forgetting everything I’d planned on saying.
Before the day of your wedding take some time to choose the order of toasts. Also consider when you would like toasts to be given. Most couples choose to do their toasts just before dinner is served. But I have also seen toasts given just before the cake is cut.
Choose what you would like your guests to toast with. Champagne or sparkling wine is usually the traditional choice.
We’d LOVE to hear from you!
Do you have any stories you’d like to share about memorable wedding toasts? What about the trends you see that are taking place now? Feel free to comment below and let us know!
Love these tips Amanda! Toasts can go from GREAT to Oh No real quick…leaving guests with either lots of laughter, tears or the feeling of awkwardness. I still remember my speech at my sister’s wedding….it was terrible because I tried to be cool and “wing it”. DON’T wing it LOL
Haha! You poor thing!! I can only imagine. But, hey! You learned something and I really appreciate you commenting to agree that “winging it” probably isn’t the best route. Thank you!!
Those giving the toasts should also keep them short and on topic. My husband and I attended his cousin’s wedding and the best man went off on a rather lengthy and vague story about how the groom helped him through what we gathered to be his addiction issues. While it’s great that the groom was able to help, the best man could easily have said “thank you for supporting me through my trying times”, something more personal could have been said in private, and moved on. It was a very odd segue into the evening.
Absolutely!!! I agree 1,000%! There are special places and times for such a story. The bride and groom can have some control over this by making sure everyone is clear they have 1-2 minutes to talk, or by making sure the groomsmen help the Best Man sober up a bit before taking the mic. Sometimes adding alcohol in the mix can cause an awkward situation, which I’m sure we’ve all been witness to.